One Year Old

I know it has taken me a few days to make a post for my daughters first birthday, let’s be honest, I have been in denial. Her first birthday crept up on me and before I knew it, it was already gone. That’s the thing about time, it just keeps on going.

Regardless, my daughter is officially one year old. Wow, even writing it seems crazy. When people ask how old she is I still think in my head, “oh she is just now four months!”, but the “months” have gone, and we are finally into years. I guess I could be one of those parents who refuse to own up to the year milestone and keep saying months… “Oh, she just turned 12 months a few days ago!”… Yeah, that just sounds silly if you ask me. Haha

A year has come and gone, and my daughter isn’t the only one who has grown tremendously. I have too. I am so glad that my husband and I took a leap of faith and decided to have a baby. I can’t really sum all that this year has brought and I don’t want this to turn into a sob story. So, I decided to share my letter that I wrote to Olivia. Every year until she is 18, I will write her a letter on how that year was. One of my love languages is words, and I love writing letters, (ask my husband, we live under the same roof but he still receives letters from me haha) so here is hers.

Dear Olivia,

                You are officially one year old! We made it! I remember this day a year ago so well. We just had you and you were sleeping so soundly in your little bed that the hospitals have. Your daddy is out getting us dinner, Culvers to be exact! I keep looking over at you as if you stopped breathing but, there you are just being the most perfect angel ever. As the days go by, your father and I are learning quite a bit. How to swaddle. How to nurse. How to get our sleep when we can. We learn what it’s like to pull countless all-nighters. The first three months were the hardest for me but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Around three months you start smiling. I literally thought my heart was going to burst! Your eyes are turning into a bright, beautiful blue. You begin chewing on your hands and moving a lot more. By six months old you are sitting up all by yourself. You can now laugh and giggle and your cries are changing too. You have turned into such a sweet and happy baby. You also have been sleeping through the night and are such a huge blessing. By 8-9 months you begin crawling and you start to really explore things! We call you our little vacuum because you are putting EVERYTHING you find into your mouth! You are saying “dada” “mama” and “uh-oh”. You love Mac N Cheese, This Little Piggy, and music. By a year old you can pull yourself up to stand and cruise furniture. You have grown into such a healthy and beautiful one year old.

I am so proud of all the things you have learned to do in your first year! I am so happy to call you mine, and I am honored that I get to be your mommy for forever. Thank you for being so patient with me. For loving me unconditionally and for teaching me so many things. Thank you for always cheering me up and for pushing me to be a better mom. You and your dad have been my rock and I love you both. There was a point that I thought I wouldn’t be able to be the mom you need. That I wasn’t good enough to you and that I didn’t deserve you. But then you smiled at me and I felt like you were saying “Oh mom, yes you CAN do this.” You are my little cheerleader and I am truly so grateful for you. I love you little bean. Happy Birthday.

Love always,

Mom 

But You're Mormon...

Let’s be real for a minute… I am a Mormon. Proud of it too! I go to church for three hours on a Sunday. I don’t drink coffee or tea, unless its herbal tea, then I’m all about it because it is DELISH. I don’t smoke, do drugs, or drink alcohol. I don’t wear revealing clothing. I pray all the time (well, try to). I read The Book of Mormon, and if you haven’t, you should! It’s a good one. I believe in a living day prophet and I go to the temple as often as I can. I AM A MORMON.

That being said: all of those things I have listed, I do them, NOT because “I’m a Mormon”, but because I am a big girl who can make her own damn choices. It is the most frustrating thing when someone says to me, “Oh yeah, you can’t do that because your Mormon.” HOLD UP! No, you are WRONG. I CHOOSE not to do those things because, (brace yourself), I simply chose NOT to do them! I don’t drink coffee and tea because it’s expensive and I don’t like how much I used to rely on it. I don’t drink alcohol or do drugs because, I used to do them and that was the lowest part of my life and I have CHOSEN, on my own, to not partake of those things. Yes, I am LDS (Mormon), and yes being part of this church has helped me “stay clean”, but at the end of the day, I am the one who made every choice in my life. I’m grateful to be part of this church that has showed me that there is so much more to life. I’m grateful for the teachings and scriptures I have available to me whenever I need guidance. I am also grateful for my past and for what life I have lived because it is a reference point that I will never go back to.

Being LDS is a lifestyle, but each choice that is made comes from me, and me only. Just because I’m LDS does not mean that I gave away my right of free agency. In fact, becoming LDS did just the opposite. It showed me that I DID have a choice to live a safe, healthy, and happy life. My husband and I were abstinent before marriage, not because that’s what our bishop MADE us do, but because we knew that God wanted us to wait, and we wanted to be sealed. So we stuck it out, and it was well worth it. I drink soda all the time, that’s my choice. Our church leaders have come out and said how caffeine isn’t the best thing to drink, but I still do it, and guess what?? I’m still allowed to go to church! That also ties into the music I listen to, the movies I watch, and whether or not I keep the Sabbath “holy” each Sunday. I do things in my life that make me happy. I don’t do them for the church. I don’t do them to “fit in” with all the other Mormons, or to get approval. I do them for God and myself. So the next time you know someone who is LDS and you see them drinking a Dr. Pepper, don’t tell them “I thought you couldn’t drink caffeine because you’re Mormon”. Instead, move on and go pick on someone else. We ALL have free agency. That means: we all make our own choices… so stop with the judging and do more loving!

Lindholm Family Reunion

Last week, my little family and I got to take a trip to the beautiful Flagstaff for the Lindholm Family Reunion. We do this every summer, and this year we did a short trip up north. Most of the extended family lives out of state, so it's always a blast getting to see everyone! We were only there for three days, but it was the perfect break from the HOT valley heat. We arrived Thursday evening, spent all day Friday at the Grand Canyon, and left Saturday morning. I had so much fun seeing our family, and it was so exciting for Olivia to see/meet some of her extended family! The Grand Canyon was Cameron and I's favorite part. We hiked about a mile in and just enjoyed looking at God's work. This world is truly beautiful and seeing the Grand Canyon was a complete eye opener for me! I miss our family already and can't wait for next summer! Here are some fun pictures I snapped along the way :)

First night at the hotel, playing some peekaboo with daddy and me

How lucky am I to have this guy in my life?! I could just kiss him all day! 

This is Steve and Kaylynn. I can't even begin to explain how much I love these guys and how inspirational they are to me. They are the ones who came up with the idea to hike the canyon in the first place, and it was one of the funnest hikes I have ever done! 

Starting our hike! 

First off, this picture does no justice to how beautiful & BIG the Grand Canyon is. Secondly, I can't wait to go back! 

"I'm on top of the world, ay!"... (Imagine Dragons anyone??)

Yes, he crawled over the side of this, and yes he is wearing cowboy boots. #boyswillbeboys

The entrance into the canyon... Daniel was too busy taking it all in to smile I guess... hehe

The back side of the canyon, I love how the light illuminated and carried through the inside of the tunnels! 

Love this woman so much! She has lost over 100 pounds, and she is such an inspiration to me! I'm grateful to have her in my life! 

We decided to #stopdropandyoga on the edge... Obviously I need more practice. In my defense, this was on our way back UP the canyon, and I was nearly dying. haha

Someone needed a little cat-nap after the hike... lucky duck! 

This was all the guys (besides Grandpa Lindholm, not sure where he was...) and Olivia too! 

My mother and father in law watched Olivia while we went on the hike in the morning and then met up with us in the afternoon... Olivia was so excited to see us! 

I'm so blessed to have Wendy on this trip! She was a huge help with Olivia and made everything so much more fun and enjoyable! Especially when it was way past nap time! 

I think he enjoyed the diaper bag more than anyone... #workit

Papa and Olivia! 

Obviously, the cat nap wasn't long enough... hehe

Chillin' with Grandma Lindholm and Daddy! 

Afterwards, we went and had lunch by the visiting area... Someone had a little too much dessert

How could you say no to this face though?!

This picture kills me... She is big enough to climb up onto luggage, and the couch and can now pick something up without falling down.... I need to accept that she will be walking soon, but I just can't! I'm not ready! 

All in all, it was a short and sweet trip to see some of the family and enjoy God's work. One of my favorite vacations and I look forward to more to come!