2014 Reflection

With the New Year happening, it has made me really look back and reflect on 2014. I decided to make a list of words that came to mind as I thought about the year from beginning to end:

• Fired
• Worried
• Sadness
• Failure
• Pregnant
• Swollen
• Financial Problems
• Depression
• Birth
• Hormones
• Mastitis
• Crying
• Photography
• Seeking help
• Prayer
• Christ
• Atonement
• Positivity
• Happiness
• Kindness
• Forgiveness
• Love 
• New ME

As the year started, I was fired, pregnant and hopeless. I felt like a failure to my family. I felt like I let my baby and husband down. I felt like I let God down. It took me the whole year to really get over that. I experienced some of the darkest times of my life in 2014. One day I sought out for help and I honestly can say that was a HUGE turning point. Through leaning on family, friends, and even professional help I was able to work on the new me. I truly believe through childbirth and becoming a first time mom, you tend to loose yourself in everything. From late night feedings, dirty diapers, a messy home, cooking dinner and all the other things that come with being a stay at home mom, its easy to forget about yourself and push your needs to the side. It was amazing to realize this and really try to refocus and find that "new me". I threw myself back into my favorite hobby, photography. Everything I did, I did for Christ. (or tried to, no one is perfect). I saw a therapist (or as she likes to refer herself to as a "life coach"). I accepted the fact that I can't do everything on my own and that I needed to rely on Christ and God to help me. Coming to Christ was such a humbling experience. I thought it would take time but sure enough He was right there as soon as I fell on my knees. I'm SO glad 2014 is over. I'm SO glad I was able to learn and grow in ways I never thought I could. I'm SO glad I was fired. I'm SO glad for every single trial last year. They have made me who I am now. When I think about the person I have changed into, I see someone I have always wanted to see but never have. I am learning to be confident and happy. I'm forcing myself to see a positive in EVERY situation (which there always is one). I am surrounding myself with those who love me and not those who try to break me down. I know that this year only started 6 days ago, but I am optimistic in knowing it will be a good one. Sometimes in life you have to force yourself to smile, brush yourself off and move on. Sometimes in life you have to forget what OTHERS think of you and trying to please them. The only person I try to please is God. He is all that matters. If I am pleasing Him and doing His work that He has asked me to do, then everything else will work out. I am extremely grateful for the opportunities I had last year to grow and come closer to Christ. I am also grateful for a new year and new beginnings. Bring it on 2015, I'm ready. Here are some pictures that recap last year :)