Dear Shelby

I was listening to a country song where the lyrics say "If I Could Write a Letter to me..." and it goes on about all the different things the grown artist would tell his younger self. I found it very inspiring and began thinking: "what would I tell my younger self?"... I was thinking of all these different things and decided to blog about it.

Dear Shelby,

You are 13 years old. You are in junior high school and it may  seem as if life is falling apart. You feel the need to be wanted and accepted. You want everyone to like you. You want to be good in all things, but for all the wrong reasons... And that's OK. You will learn later in life that you don't need to please everyone, although this will be one of your hardest trials. Even though you fight with your step mom a lot and sometimes even wish your "living" circumstances could be different, I happily tell you: she will become one of your best friends. Yep, I said BEST FRIENDS... That step mom of yours loves you SO much, more than you can think possible. She does things that you think aren't "fair" but she does them out of love and protection. I promise you there is a method to her madness. STOP with your attitude. STOP with your pity party. This woman CHOSE you and your sisters. She CHOSE to be your mom and her heart is the sweetest you will ever meet: so STOP with the drama and start appreciating her and respecting her. Do it now, because as you grow up, you will really see all what all she did for you and the guilt of what you put her through will be heartbreaking. 

As you enter high school you will find your confidence. You will make good friends who want the best for you; you will also make friends that will hurt, lie, and use you. You'll be alright, its only;y high school. You will start to be "boy crazy" and that my dear is not a good thing. You will fall into pier pressure, you will be hurt, and you will experience some troubling and lost times. You will go through many phases and you will do some for attention and others because, yet again, you just want people to like you. I promise you, you will end up alright... it may take a few turns down some scary roads, but you'll end up where you need to be.

After high school, I hate to say it, things go from bad to worse. You start partying. A LOT. You become foolish, reckless, and just dumb. You get piercings and tattoos and you do things that even looking back, I still don't get. I wish I could say to not partake in any of these things, but you have to. It's part of your destiny and it will help you appreciate the more simple things in life. You will fall in love. You will be in a toxic relationship (actually many), and you will be hurt, countless times. You will be desperate and lonely. You will have a void in your life that you think only a guy could fill but then one day.. you realize that void is actually a place where God will come into your life. You will learn about different religions and you will start taking lessons from the Mormon missionaries... yup, you read correctly: you will become a MORMON. Crazy thought right? But guess what else? You will become truly HAPPY. You will learn there is a God, and He loves you so much. Even though you are a broken hot mess, He still loves you. You will be baptized and you think life will be great from there... but you're wrong. Life will get hard. Like super hard. You will fall away from the church and go back to your old ways. As you find your way back into the gospel, don't worry that you can't take the sacrament. Don't worry about your outfits. Don't worry about not being good enough, these people and this ward will accept and love you for YOU.  Then one of the best things happen... You meet The Skidmores. You end up moving in with them, yes you read that correctly too. You move in with a family of 6 into their tiny house and this will be the best 10 months of your life(so far). You will FINALLY learn about self respect! You will grow in so many ways and you will also learn to forgive yourself. You will become extremely close (and great friends) to the mom, Cherri, and she will teach you everything about photography. You will become very talented in photography... so do yourself a favor and ACTUALLY charge people for sessions. Cherri will help you grow and learn, and she will be there through everything, just like your sisters and your family. The Skidmores will become your family. Also, you will date many good guys who actually PAY for your dinner. You will be treated and loved and it will be the coolest feeling. Then one day in church, you will see a boy. Actually a man, and a dang sexy one too. You will meet him, date him and fall madly in love. You get engaged (yep, the one thing you never wanted to do!). You get married in the temple, something you worked so hard on! You will have a beautiful baby girl and you will see that THIS is your happily ever after. It sounds sweet but you will have a really hard time with all of this. Each phase, more burdens will hit you. I promise, you will make it out. You will learn and grow so much. Instead of caring jealousy, hate, and loneliness... you will carry happiness and love. You will learn to accept yourself and you will learn charity. You will cry... a lot. But that's alright, you always feel better after a good cry. You will learn to cherish the little things: like the value of the dollar, when your baby first smiled at you, the blessings of marriage, how amazing "date night" can be after you have a baby, what a real friend is, butterfly kisses, cooking, beauty school, photography, and so much more. I promise you will end up on the right path. I promise you will realize the true meaning of life. I promise you will have people in your life that treat you good... you will have friends and family and in-laws that love you for who you are. I promise that you will be OK. Be grateful in all things. Guard your heart. Love yourself. And keep pushing forward. 

Love always, 

Me.